Micronation 101
by bobness
Summary: America decides that he wants to see how a micronation's duty differs from his. Cue Professor Molossia and a discussion of all the strange events that take place in his 'country'. Rated T for language.


**The world needs more fanfics with Molossia. Just sayin'.**

**This was written for the HetaSummer Lightning Challenge. The prompt was Learning.  
**

* * *

"Hey, Molossia?"

"Hm?" Molossia glanced over at his companion, a look of bliss on his usually-scowling face. "What? Don't talk too fucking loud, you'll scare the fish away."

America smiled warmly. "I always talk quietly when we're fishing, don't I?" When Molossia didn't answer (because he knew America was right on that one), America continued. "I was wondering if you could kinda repay me for teaching you how to fish."

Molossia snorted. "I could have learned by myself."

"But you didn't."

"Well, I _could have_, and that's all that matters." Molossia rolled his eyes. "You're such an idiot sometimes, America."

"And you're such a killjoy sometimes, Molossia." America scooted closer to his brother, putting on that one look that he already knew most other nations- and micronations- could never reject.

Yes, he was _so_ using his 'I'm-an-abused-puppy-left-on-the-side-of-the-road' look.

And Molossia had such a weakness for hurt and abused animals.

"Please?" America begged. "Just for me? You teach me all about being a micronation, just for one measly day, in return for me teaching you how to be an awesome fisherman." When he noticed Molossia hesitating, the superpower brought the expression on full-force. "C'mon. Just a day."

Not able to hold out for much longer, Molossia sighed in defeat. "Fuck you, America. Fine. Whatever. I'll...I'll teach you how to be a micronation." Right before America burst out in a cheer, Molossia held up a finger. "Just one day, you hear? We're not gonna keep doing this. There's only so much of your persistent bothering I can take and, besides, you have even more duties, being a huge world power and all, plus my boss needs me for other things, such as the arrangement of another para-"

"You got one," America interrupted, unperturbed by Molossia's lecture.

"What?"

America pointed at Molossia's fishing pole, where the line had gone rigid. "You got a fish! Reel it in!"

A load of cussing and a failed fishing experience later, America followed Molossia back to his country, practically wetting himself from excitement. "This is so cool!" he exclaimed. "I've never gotten to see how a real micronation works! I bet you guys have it so easy. How much paperwork do you do? Are your people all familiar with you, or do they just think you're a citizen? What's your boss like? How come you guys live out in the middle of a freaking desert? Doesn't it got hot and stuff or-"

"We're here," Molossia grumbled, knowing it was futile to even attempt shutting America up when he got going. He had tried many times before, but his elder brother was just so darn _talkative__. _It was ridiculous, really.

America glanced up from their car, his face turning into a grin when he saw the 'nation' he was now in. "Dude, it's so tiny and awesome! Yep, I bet this thing is easy to control."

Molossia stepped out of the car and adjusted his sunglasses, gazing at his country. "Sometimes," he said. "When we're not worrying about Mustachistan rising up again and trying to reclaim our lands."

"Wait...Mustachistan?" America walked along side the younger man, his eyes wide. "Is...is that another micronation I don't know about? How the hell are there so many that are...wait, there's seriously one called Mustachistan?"

"Yeah." Molossia smirked. "The bastards thought they could take over my land. We proved 'em wrong!" Noticing America's bewildered expression, Molossia just rolled his eyes. "Back in 2006, the nation of Mustachistan claimed that Molossia was part of their territory. 'Course, they had just been created with help from my boss, so that claim was a pile of shit, but Sultan Ali-Ali Achsenfree-"

"Who?"

"Sultan of Mustachistan. Anyway, he wouldn't give up his claims that we were Mustachistan territory, so we had to go to war against them."

America looked around at the land. "Like...a real war, with people dead, or...a silly war?"

"I think the Mustachistans suffered one casualty. Can't be sure, I might have to ask my boss." Molossia seemed to brush this off as completely normal, though America was still in awe of the events the micronations seemed to go through. "I'll take you to one of the battlefields. Other wars have also been fought, but that was an important one, since the whole fucking missile crisis we had to go through in November and December of 2006. 'Course, I think the Kickassia Invasion has received the most recognition. They invaded our country and overthrew our government for a little bit there, but Molossians never give up, so we got it back." Ignoring America's questions, Molossia stood taller, a smirk coming across his face.. "I like to think we're the best micronation out there. We did start the Intermicronational Olympic Games, after all. And what does Sealand do? Ha, nothing, the little asshat."

"You guys have Olympic Games?"

Molossia nodded, quite proud of his nation. America really seemed interested, too. "Yeah. We don't have nearly as many events as you guys do, but it's a start. Even if we've only done it once..." He trailed off then, wondering if starting the games back up might help show the bigger nations how awesome they truly were. "Anyway, we had Internet chess, Internet checkers, and some actual athletic games, which my boss also participated in."

America shook his head. "Man," he muttered. "I didn't know you guys led such weird lifestyles. I thought being a micronation was a joke, but..." He fell silent for a second, then grinned and grabbed Molossia's arm. "What if I invaded you? Do you think I'd win?"

Face turning pale at the thought of being invaded by one of the greatest world powers (and one that rarely ever lost wars), Molossia dropped his cocky expression. "W-Well, of course! Fuck yeah, we could beat ya with our arms tied behind our backs!"

"Perfect! This will be fun!" America pulled out his cell phone. "I hope you guys get reception here! I'm gonna call my boss and ask him if we can't arrange an American invasion of Molossia! Oh, awesome, I can't wait!"

And Molossia, very much bewildered, wondered just what the hell he had gotten himself into.

* * *

**All of what Molossia said is true. I follow the Molossia website like my life depends on it. 'Course, I'm still uncertain whether or not the Mustachistan army lost a man...  
**

**As a side-note, I'm nearly finished with the last chapter of 12 Months (to all those who are familiar with that one). Sorry for the long wait!**

**Also, if you adore my writings (all of you do, c'mon, don't deny it), check out my Livejournal and/or Tumblr- links to both are on my profile.  
**

**Read and review, and I hope you enjoyed!  
**


End file.
